Who is the one who always walks beside me – along the
holiday hedgerows and across the beach, leaving no footsteps? He flickers at
the edge of vision and looks overjoyed, bounding among family and friends, at
ease, like me in better times. He is there through the tasteless chill of ice
cream; he savours the acid coffee that only burns my gut. Happiness comes
easily to him; he throws it in my face, mocking my unshakable mood, my sharp
longing. I see his quick look of disgust. I think he would destroy me if he
could. I wish he would.
