I should start by saying that I like men. I have a lovely Dad and husband, and two wonderful sons. Nevertheless, I have had great fun working on this shortlist. The items listed are not necessarily the most annoying things – they are the ones I believe are most common, and therefore most recognisable to other women. Some of them, I hazard to suggest, are almost universal, and many of them begin early in boyhood and never go away.
|courtesy of www.fotosearch.com|
1 Being offered a taste of something and taking an ENORMOUS bite
When I was a little girl, I was keen to gain favour from a little boy I liked, so I agreed to let him have a bite of my Milky Way. He bit at least half of it off and then laughed at my sad expression. Grown men still do this. They think it is manly and endearing. They still laugh about it too.
2 Going shopping without checking what’s in the cupboards first
Men are results oriented and react well to praise, so it is good to encourage them and not to get cross during the shopping debrief. However, sarcasm can come in useful. When I find a duplicate item, instead of pointing to the waste of time and money, I comment, ‘Oh, that’s nice – we’ll put it with the other one in the cupboard.’
3 Boy looking
This is my name for ‘searching’ for things and quickly declaring them lost, without lifting up other things to look under them. For instance a boy will shout, ‘There’s no ham!’ When you find the ham under the cheese after a two-second search of the fridge, the boy will look at you as though you made it completely inaccessible by hiding it so deviously. Boy looking often survives into adulthood.
4 The ‘near enough’ underwear deployment policy
Socks or pants are considered near enough to the laundry basket if they are on the floor within four feet of it.
5 The double duvet manoeuvre
When getting out of bed in the night, the man cannot lift the duvet, slide out from under it and replace it on the bed where he was previously lying. Oh no, that’s for girls. He has to whip the duvet aside with the gusto of a cape-wielding bullfighter, then dump it on top of you, without asking whether you wanted to be woken up by a thudding quilt attack and left to swelter under a double layer of high-tog-rating bed furniture.
5 Annoying Things Women Do. I have already been thinking this through and so far I do every one!
I would love to hear from you if you have any suggestions for either list!